Not Much Ado At All

A nothing day. Miss Via finally made me a good coffee. I went to Annes to start my new book. Moved onto the GO2, more reading. Yesterday was a big day, I’m pretty worn out so back to my room for some study for tomorrows class, a movie and a snooze.

Installing yet more powerlines - while i enjoy an iced coffee.

I head down to Lams for mid afternoon lunch and stop for a drink with Tom, Glen, Gareth and an Australian guy, Peter. The boys are getting on it, the empty beer bottles are taking up half the table and the joints are going around – Tom is absolutely wasted. Glens’ son Michael is there, he’s about 10.

Michael, Glen, Tom and Me.

Peter looks familiar, he’s closing in on sixty, we chat about Australia and he goes on to tell me about his house in Perth and his house in Miami and how he’s just going up the coast to look at some property to buy a house here, a bit like the loud mouth Americans but not so loud and in your face, more matter of factly. I can't work out if he's a tycoon or a raconteur. He just has to wait for his girlfriend to get back from Danang, she’s twenty three – Ding! – He was the guy from Jins a couple of days ago with the girlfriend who was hogging the bathroom! Simon – nod and smile, keep your mouth shut and just let him brag. Tom staggers across the street to his room and after my third beer I decide that’s a good cue for me and head back to my room for another snooze.

I wake at seven to the sounds of Thay practicing her piano in the foyer. I’m a little bit seedy so I take a quick shower and head out for a quick bite and a couple more beers. I go to Thi café to say hi to the band and try one of their burgers. It’s the kind of warm clear Friday night where you can feel everyone is just winding up for a big one, activity in the streets and all kinds of characters drift past.

The cigarette guy who overcharged me last week comes over being friendly and trying to hustle me to buy more cigarettes. He’s nice enough and I tell him I’m not angry at him but that was his one chance and I’m not buying anymore cigarettes from him. He skulks off with a huffy smirk. Tim the keyboard player sits down for a chat between sets, he used to live in Leichhardt and we shoot the breeze about Sydney, something I am over talking about but it’s also nice to have some familiar ground.

A nice looking ride, you don't see many bikes over 175cc.

I go across to the ANZ ATM at the GO2 and top up my dilly bag and head back to my room for an early night, I’m sure I will be grateful at seven thirty tomorrow morning when I front the ten ten year olds.

I Saw Her Standing There

Today I woke to the room phone, I tried to ignore it but it kept ringing. I answered and Hien asked “Hello Simon are you awake?” “I am now" I said but the humour was lost on her. She wanted to know when I would be down for breakfast, she has arranged dumplings for me for something different and is quite excited about it. so after a shower I go down but the dumpling shop was closed so it’s just noodles again. This morning I went straight over to the bench and said “today I will make my coffee and show you how I like it”, now Hein and Miss Vai both know how to make a strong coffee with just enough sweet milk, hopefully from now on I will have good coffee at the Blue River. 

After breakfast I put my backpack on with camera and MP3 player at the ready and start walking south, the only direction I have not explored yet. There are western style cafes along the way but I prefer the little roadside stands, the people are very appreciative and always laughing and happy to try to communicate. I walk for an hour or so finding Pagodas and landmarks, this is the clothing district, clothing shop after clothing shop and so many roadside food stands, Chinatown.  

The first temple I found was this tiny one when I just happened to see some if it's bright colours down a tiny laneway, it was very quiet and I stumbled upon this scene, I quietly snuck my camera out to get this shot of an old monk glued to the swimwear models on fashion TV, he didn't notice me at all so I just quietly left him to it.

I got a bit peckish and could not find a Coffee Bean shop for a bagel so I stopped at a bakery, all the food looks so good, sweet and fluffy. I settle on what looks like a Danish with cocktail frankfurts in it. I expect it to be like sausage roll pastry but no, it is sweet and even for me, a wacky taste with the sweet bread and the frankfurts. Just before I went into the bakery I was taking a picture of a shop across the street after which two bikes collided right in front of me – I missed the photo literally by two seconds.  

I stop at a little Chinese café in a leafy back street for a seat and a coffee with my pastry. All of a sudden about twenty metres down the road a junction box on a power pole explodes, sending sparks flying out over the road and people. Funny thing to see, after the bike accident and the junction box explosion, everybody stops and stares for about thirty seconds (some of us smiling at the chaos) then as if nothing had happened continue on their merry way. Across from the Chinese café there is a roadside BBQ stand with two chickens in a cage and a rooster just roaming around, I guess you could call him free range. I watched the rooster for about fifteen minutes while I had my coffee and he wandered to the edge of the road and along the curb in either direction but never left the boundary of the shop front, even while there was some sweet smelling chicken sizzling on the BBQ. leaving me to ponder the deep philosophical question – did the chicken even cross the road?  

At this point after my coffee I started back towards District One. I came across this beautiful Caodaist Temple. I went in and it looked like a hotel foyer inside so I turned to leave but a young man came running over and invited me in for a tour. We went upstairs and there was the first of several prayer rooms. He explained that Caodaism is a Vietnamese religion blending Catholisism, Tao, Buddha and Confucius (whose birthday it is today) set up by a Vietnamese man in 1937 who was raised Catholic but decided to blend the religions, in their decorative figure heads they include the three Asian godheads and a pope but only represent the three Asian ones with their colours – blue – Tao, yellow – Buddha, red – Confucius.

After exploring the five levels (and I don’t mind admitting I got a little bit of vertigo at the very top where there is a great panorama of Saigon) I saw two guys jamming on these weird violin/banjo instruments, I bought one home with me last year and Eliot is looking after it for me. El, I found out how to play it! You put the bow right down at the base on a severe angle so that you are bowing the neck and only the bottom big string – then with your left hand you hold down both strings together and just use your fingers as if there were frets – I was playing “When the Saints Come Marching In” (my default tune on any new instrument) in no time. 

I was invited for lunch. It was impolite of me to gratefully refuse but better than all the food I would have had to refuse because I was full from the frankfurt Danish. I walked on for a while and getting closer to District One I became hungry so I gave in to the urges I had for fried chicken after passing several KFCs and Lotterias. I stopped at a Lotteria and had a great cheese burger and two pieces of fried chicken – yum.  

My feet are getting sore now and I am covered in sweat so I head back towards my hotel when a gorgeous young redheaded English girl with blue eyes stepped out from a shop in front of me. I introduced myself and we got to chatting. She was looking for Ben Tahn markets and was freaked out at the prospect of crossing the road, she has just left Australia after three years and been here two days. So “knight in shining armour” I walk her across some of the roads to the park and point her in the direction of the markets, an easy walk from there. I hesitated for a split second before she walked off but courage kicked in and I asked for her number or email, she gave me her email and we parted ways. As long as I keep thinking she will not email me back I will be ok. Her name is Rosamund – I am smitten. 

When I got back to the Blue River I am informed there is trouble with the water in my room so they asked if I would mind moving down to 101 – are you kidding me? Apart from being grateful for a change after three weeks now I only have fifteen steps to the first floor instead of the sixty steps to the forth floor. The door is much stronger and has a security chain, the air-conditioner is quieter, the shower runs at a constant temperature and as well as a normal light the room has a very sexy blue light! What a great day! 

During helping me move rooms Mun asked what I was listening to so I lent him my MP3 player and he is ecstatic.  

I head to school early to look over the books after coffee at a local shop I frequent upon arrival now. Turns out I have had both these classes before and the first one is a talk and listen lesson on California so we breeze through that one except for Cindy.  

I’m not sure whether she knows the material or not because despite being an utter chatter box when my back is turned she goes all shy and diminutive when I ask her a question. Tonight she is hugging her bag with one arm inside which probably means she is texting her friends and she is obviously not paying attention. After a couple of idle warnings I ask her to put her bag on the ground.  

Well! …………I am met with an intense nasty stare and all I can do is play the game, I stare back silently, you could cut the tension with a knife. Fortunately there is an air in these situations where the rest of the class just wants her to do it so they can move on with the lesson and all eyes eventually turn to her, I win, I’m not sure if this would work to my advantage in a western school. After putting her bag down she continues the stare for at least fifteen minutes as I carry on with the class and I wear a big happy helpful smile and ignore her while the rest of us go on with the lesson. 

We come to poetry and rhyming and to my surprise they don’t know what these things are so suddenly I am in my element. I put them in groups to come up with a simple four line poem. As they are doing this, off the top of my head I start writing on the board and come up with, 

Simon is a bad teacher,

He makes me work like a slave,

Maybe he would be better,

If I would behave. 

Genius! One by one they all start to look up from their pages and giggle at the poem, when I see Cindy finish reading it I look at her with a neutral expression, she cracks a smile and the rest of the class is fun without any more tension. Phew! 

The second class is three teenagers who know their stuff but just need help with pronunciation and listening so we go through the book and I take them off in tangents, distracting them from the book and getting them to speak. It took me fifteen minutes to get May to put her tongue between her teeth to pronounce TH, something they have trouble with but by the end of the lesson she was doing great with “they threw the soap in the bath”. 

Wah takes me home, I can’t even be bothered to change except for a T-shirt and head to Dungs for pizza and beer and head back to my new blue room exhausted – I wonder of she will email me back………….

It Was a Day

At breakfast I had to share a table with a pretty Hawaiian girl called Olivia who I had spied last night at Thi Bar watching the band which was a good conversation starter this morning, we had a good chat, unfortunately she is flying out today – oh god why do you mock me so? This distracted me long enough for Miss Vai to make my coffee without me watching and it arrived far too sweet again damn it. 

I have decided in all good conscience that I should pay the thousand dollar Vodaphone bill, Idealistically they should not have let it go that far but if they had cut me off sooner I would have had more trouble getting the emergency cash – it cost me a thousand dollars to get a thousand dollars – ah the irony. Of course most of the expense of the phone bill is because of that useless woman “Tracey” from the ANZ but I’m trying not to think about that or it will just put me in a bad mood. So my only recourse now is to hope that the insurance will cover it. It should but that brings up another dilemma, it seems for reasons I am still unsure of, the police will not hand out my report which is necessary for the insurance claim, Argh! Mun goes to the station each day only to be told to “come back tomorrow”. There is no point in me going as they do not speak English. I have put it in the back of my mind so far not wanting to think about it but today I will begin to investigate all of this a bit more thoroughly. I start with some enquiry emails to the insurance company – oh how I hate corporations. 

After some time on the net I go to Annes for coffee and then to the Coffee Bean for my morning bagel. Here I decide on which direction to explore today. I have covered most of the north and west of District One so today I start walking east. I hit the river and if I were to turn north I would arrive at the Embassy in about two kilometres so south I head into unknown territory. There is nothing here, just the freeway Nick and I took to leave for the Mekong last year and a few local warehouses and mechanic shops. It looks like an old area and part by part the old buildings are coming down and huge apartment buildings are going up, even more so across the river. I forgot to bring my bag which is a pity, the walk would have been better with my MP3 player and without my real camera the photos are fairly average from the iPhone.

A wacky looking church across the river - Christian crosses but Asian Architecture.

After a while I end up on the main road coming up from the south back into District One. I stop in at a shop where I see for the first time since I have been here – after shave. That’s right, I’ve been looking for it for three weeks but apparently it is not a common item here.  

Back into the block I go for a massage, I slept on my neck wrong and for whatever reason my back is a bit sore. Trang is in and she works her magic, one hour later and I feel fantastic, they are also still discounting me a small amount. I peruse a used book shop but nothing stands out, I must find something soon, I feel naked without a book. Interesting to note that “Luke Rhinehart - Diceman” and “Jack Kerouac - On the Road” are the most common books in the shop and with the street sellers. There is also a lot of Harry Potter, Bill Bryson and that stupid “Twilight” series. 

After lunch at Zoom café I head back to my room for study and a nap. The school has TXT me the pages for my two classes tomorrow but unfortunately I haven’t been given the books for them yet so that means two things, One - I can’t study or prepare and Two - they must be a class I haven’t taught before so school should be interesting tomorrow. 

After dark I head to Thi Bar for a warm up beer or two and to see the band again. Tonight I meet Gregory the “band leader”. He’s the drummer with the sweet voice who looks like Cee Lo Green. There are three of us in the crowd for the first set so I stick around for the second set until a crowd of Japanese come in and I slink out, I just don’t get Jazz, though to be fair they do mix it up with more contemporary standards and they are good - but two sets is all i can take. 

It’s a still clear night, not too humid but just sweaty enough. I head up to Annes for some Paella, buy a new book from my book lady – she couldn’t find the ones I asked her to get so now I’ll be reading “Nick Hornby – Polysyllabic Spree”. I finish my last beer just as Foo turns up with my cigarettes and I head back to my room with all the usual offers along the way of Marijuana, Heroin, Opium, Ecstacy, Cocaine and of course - pretty girl massage, “me make love vely good” (that’s not a type-o).

Light and Day

Great sleep all the way to seven. I took the condensed milk down for breakfast and Hien made me a coffee with it, I will damn well make it myself tomorrow and show them how to do it, sheesh! She used too much milk and not enough coffee. I met a decent German couple over breakfast with interesting stories of travel in Myanmar, very dirty but no trouble whatsoever, it’s a thought.  

I decide to do some walking today, I threw a dart at a map (figuratively) and came up with the Xa Loi Temple. I went to GO2 for a fruit juice and bought a Daily Telegraph from the man I promised I would buy one from this week for a peruse, I think I’ve had enough of doing that, brawls in pubs, blah blah blah, Gillard-Rudd-Abbott, blah blah blah, boat people, blah blah blah. After a fix of “Freebird” on the sound system I head off for a walk. 

Live without a net, cleaning windows on a rope.

Notice the bird cages in the sweep photo, yes they take their birds for a walk in the morning.

I wandered and sweated for half an hour and found the temple, a beautiful building and prayer room. I spent some time thanking “O Beautiful One” and meditating amongst the locals. The tune I had been subconsciously humming came to the fore “Polyphonic Spree – Light and Day” it stuck with me all day. There were three beggars on the steps leading up to the temple but I am working out the hierarchy, I will not give to able bodied people especially when they are just sitting outside a temple preying on the goodwill of the faithful. After my time with Buddha I sat at a stand run by a happy old lady for a coffee and while she was making it I turned around to see one of the beggar ladies counting through a big wad of notes in an envelope, shame on you you old crone.  

I know enough Vietnamese to say hello and ask the coffee lady how she is, order the coffee, thank her, ask her how much it costs and say you are welcome when she thanks me. They appreciate the effort and warm to you very quickly for it. 

After a further short conversation of which neither of us knew what the other was saying and full of laughter, I put on my MP3 player and wandered in a “long way around” direction back towards District One. A random soundtrack of some of my favourite songs turns my walk into a movie and I walk through the sets and streets of a cinematic masterpiece.  

I arrive at the corner café without a name where Glen is always sitting and give him “Zen-MM” as promised and we shoot the breeze for a while. I offered him the private tuition work I was offered because I’m not that fussed either way and he can use the work, disappointingly he seems half hearted as well. He gives me some good tips regarding the “out of my depth” lesson I had last night.  

Another English guy joins us and I start chatting to him. His name is Gareth, a bit older than me and arrived about the same time as I did from thirteen years teaching in Japan, he left because he was fed up with the inability to make any progress on so many fronts because of their blind devotion to their traditional ways, an attitude of smiling and saying yes to your face but then sending it up through the hierarchy where it is debated in boardrooms for weeks with no outcome when your back is turned. Something Beej told me about months ago and Louise is having similar problems in South Korea, say one thing but expect another. Louise has also been helping me with some of my grammar via email, thanks mate. 

Yesterday Tessie asked me if I knew anyone looking for work so I gave Gareth the number for the school for which he seems grateful. Sadly when she asked, I mentioned Glen and Ken the American I met yesterday but when I mentioned their ages she screwed her nose up “I’m not being racist” she said “you mean ageist” I corrected, and she said “yes, the parents would not like to see old teachers at the school”.

I say goodbye to the guys and head off for lunch. I saw Jin earlier in the day and said I would come back for lunch. I need to use the toilet when I arrive but someone is in there, after about five minutes waiting Jin asks “is she still in there?” I say “yes” with a slightly more desperate look on my face, he winks and says “she’s a very beautiful girl” finally the door opens and yes, she is stunning. After the bathroom I go out to an empty table next to her and…………the guy who is old enough to be her grandfather!  

Jins tiny toilet, even the smallest Vietnamese person could not sit on this normally.

I’ve held off on saying anything about this but here is my little rant. It seems totally natural to me to see white guys with local girls in the same age group, that’s what the world should be doing, breeding the race out of all of us so that in a thousand years we are all just one race but this old white man – young local girl is really sad to see. Surely he can not be happy outside of the bedroom when all she does is nod and agree with everything because she doesn’t even understand half of what he is saying anyway and as for her, she’s probably never known happiness, she’s probably from some poor village or family who thinks a man that buys her pretty dresses and takes her to nice places is happiness, I feel very sad for both of them. But I digress…………………..I’m no judge. 

I have a burger and chips and head back to my room for some rest and a great old Frankenstein movie. It’s three in the afternoon and I have been walking, talking and sweating since eight. 

I head out after dark and for a change in routine I drop in to the Thai Bar where I have noticed a band plays every night. It’s just jazz/blues but it’s a white band with a black drummer in a nice looking bar and I’m intrigued, this band would cost a few hundred dollars a night back in Australia and I’m sure they would not be getting paid that here, so I head in to investigate and it’s nice to hear some live music. The guitarist looks like my dear friend Mick and plays the same colour Les Paul, we get to chatting in the break and what do you know – he and the keyboard player are Adelaide boys who have lived here for a few years. He asks if I’d like to play but not tonight, I haven’t touched a guitar for a month but I take a rain check. They get back up and rip into a great version of “All Along the Watchtower” so I order a second beer and stick around for the second set.  

Off to Annes for dinner, I meet my book lady and give her a list of four books to find for me. Anne greets me with a big hug and I order the fantastic penne pork in cream sauce. It starts to rain – heavily, and looks like it’s setting in.  

A few nights ago when Foo, my cigarette lady was not around I bought some from one of the other sellers, a young gay guy with some charisma. He doesn’t have the ones I want so I buy some Bastos (terrible cigarettes) and he says two dollars. I don’t think they are worth it so I tell him –don’t rip me off or I will not buy from you again. He insists they are two dollars so I buy them. I found out from Foo the next night they are only worth one dollar.  

The view at the front of Annes in the rain.

So tonight he comes into Annes and asks if I want to buy more. I ask how much the Bastos are and he gives me a sheepish look and says two dollars. I tell him I know they are only worth one dollar. He is unsure what to say next so I calmly tell him “I am not upset, I told you the other night not to rip me off, I gave you a chance, I want to help you, you need to understand that not all white people are stupid and you could have sold me cigarettes everyday if you were not so greedy, now go away and never ask me to buy cigarettes from you again” I get a big smile and a thumbs up from a Vietnamese girl sitting at the next table and he slinks away with a shocked look on his face.  

Some people are taking cover from the rain under the awning and I notice a guy with his wallet bulging in his back pocket, I call him over and warn him to put it in his front pocket, he’s a nice guy from Melbourne and he sits down and we chat for a while waiting for the rain to subside. Eventually the rain slows to a shower but it’s not stopping so I buy a poncho and walk home, and not a minute too soon - One of the loud mouth Americans has shown up and is blabbing on proudly about how he bought his cigarettes for eighty cents and asks what i do, when I say teach english he says "Aw yeah everyone here does that but not me..." " No you're in IT" I cut him off and he looks stunned. I bite my tounge and say "We've met, have a good night", and leave him looking confused, it has been a great day.

Thus Endeth the Lesson

A good nights sleep but I am awake at five. I listen to the ABC news on the TV for a while but there is nothing new there so I get up and head down for breakfast and then off to Anne’s for fruit salad and coffee and most importantly, to finish “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”. It could have been devastating if it ended poorly but it was a good ending and I feel a sense of achievement for finishing and a sense of sadness now that the lesson is over. Such an influential book in the ways of thought and has given me cause to readjust my perceptions and approaches to so many things. Perfect that the book should find me at the start of this journey. 

I have saved the Afterward of five pages to read over my bagel at the Coffee Bean where the French Jazz has gone and thoughtless melancholy western pop accompanies the last few pages with poetic ease.  

Stepping out of the air-conditioned comfort of the Coffee Bean the temperature is noticeably warmer today, a return to the heat I have not felt for a few days. It has been a steady low of 23 degrees and a high of 27 for the last four days but the outlook for the next week is a steady 24 to 32, not a huge difference in numbers but the humidity is up and it’s 29 degrees at 10am, it is time to sweat again. 

I buy some tea light candles for the oil burner in my room as I head back to study for this evening’s class. I slam into a wall of verb-noun collations with past simple and present perfect grammar but repetition sees me over the wall of understanding until I almost know what I am talking about. 

I catch up on some emails then doze for a while. I go to Lams for some lunch and bump into Ken. We have seen each other many times because we both seem to like sitting at one of the front tables for dinner at Dung Café quietly minding our own business, smoking and reading. (You can see him doing just that in the sweep photo from a couple of days ago of the front of Dung) I am already eating when he gets off a motorbike at the front of Lams today, we make eye contact and smile, I say “I think it’s about time I introduce myself – I’m Simon” he laughs and introduces himself. We have a chat for a while, he is a seventy year old who like Glen, is having trouble getting teaching work because of his age though he really doesn’t look it. He is American with a noticeable twang in his voice but not one of those loud “I’d just like to tell you” and “I’d just like to say” ones that I have encountered at every other turn. After a short chat I finish eating and leave him to have his lunch, we will be seeing plenty more of each other.  

Though I promised the book lady I will buy my next book from her I browse through a book store but come up empty handed, no rush, the last book will be echoing through my head for quite a while to come and I must choose the next book carefully. I need something light this time, the author of “Zen-MM” has a follow up book written seventeen years after but my head would explode if I tried to tackle that or anything like it for a few months. Any suggestions? 

I grab some condensed milk on the way back to my room for tomorrow mornings coffee. Miss Vai can do many things but so far, make a good coffee is not one of them, she uses some sort of “normal” milk that just does not cut it, especially in iced coffee. That is why I have been heading straight out after breakfast for a decent coffee. I have educated her on making it stronger than milk with a hint of coffee and tomorrow I shall introduce her to condensed milk. She is Vietnamese so I’m sure she knows and the milk she uses here is probably some sort of budgetary restriction but I will not stand for it any longer. 

After a nap and another run through the lesson material I get ready for school and ten minutes before I leave it buckets down. Fortunately it is just drops by the time I get on the bike and five minutes into our journey it has stopped. I purposely time it so I arrive fifteen minutes early each day so I can go across to the little shop that sells me an iced coffee for a teaching energy boost, I am getting to know the owner lady though she does not speak a word of English, we are both trying hard to communicate. 

Time for class and after an ABC of verbs warm up we hit the books. Within five minutes I realise that I am out of my depth. The third to last chapter of “Zen-MM” comes to mind where Phadreus as a student finally goes head to head with the Chairman for the Committee on Analysis of Ideas and Study of Methods, me the Chairman and the class Phadreus. It is not coincidence that I read that chapter today. I immediately take the position of confidence and reflect any questions back to the students – they know what “perfect present” and “simple past” is much more than I but I cannot let them know that, thank goodness I have the teacher’s book with the answers in it. I make four of them move during the class tonight. The boys and girls sit in groups across from each other so if I move the middle one from each group across the room the chatter decreases noticeably. The most trouble seems to come from the smartest student because they are always finished first and bored, so they spend most of their time chattering. In this class it is a stunningly hot young thing and who ever gave her her “English” name should be reprimanded – Cherry – highly suggestively inappropriate, or is it just me?

After the bum numbing ride home I change and go to Dung for dinner and a beer and return to my room exhausted, I will sleep well tonight.

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place

A good nights sleep and I wake ten minute before the alarm, today I will venture out of Saigon for the first time in three weeks and am excitedly looking forward to it. At breakfast Hai informs me he made a mistake and Thay is picking me up at eight, not seven, sometimes I think he just likes to mess with my head. Out the front of the hotel finishing my breakfast coffee, Hein arrives on her bike for work, she comes back out two minutes later with a silly look on her face, she is working the afternoon today, she can be a bit ditzy. 

I go to the end of the lane for another coffee and cigarettes and arrive back at eight. Thay introduces me to Coney another friend of hers that will be coming with us. He is a thirty seven year old Taiwanese guy and they have been friends for six years, meeting when he stayed here at the hotel and keeping in touch. He works for a Chinese company selling building materials to companies from the Mekong Delta. Our car is a little late because Thay’s three year old niece who is also coming with us has slept in. 

                                                                     Thay

The car arrives driven by Thay’s sister’s father in-law who I meet along with Thay’s father and niece. We make the journey south out of Saigon chatting and  getting know each other as the city crush becomes a suburban spread and into a countryside sprawl, picking up Thay’s mother along the way, a real family outing. We are going to visit Thay’s grandparents in Tung Vu. The concrete turns to pastures and trees and we arrive after about an hour. 

A nice big country house about a ten minutes walk to the centre of this small rural town and after meeting the grandparents Hai, Thay’s father asks if I would like to go for a walk, we head towards town. He is a cheery gentleman of fifty four with reasonable English skills and we chat among other things about he taught mathematics here from 1978 – 1989. I become aware the closer we get to town and the more people that we see that I am quite the novelty, I don’t think they get many white boys here. I am greeted mostly with huge curious smiles and hellos. There is a few stern faces that find it hard to make eye contact with me but if I speak a friendly firm “hello” they jump and look and a smile comes.  

After wandering from the one intersection of the town in each direction we stop back at the intersection to chat to a lady who owns the shop there and Hai informs me they used to teach together at the local school, he with his mathematics and she taught literature. She greets us warmly and gives us each a bottle of water. While they chat I take the opportunity to take some photos and generally enjoy this wonderful feeling of being centre of attention, the only white person within miles. Hai points in one direction and says that road goes to Cambodia, it is only sixty kilometres away. 

We walk back to the house where us men sit and drink tea while the women prepare lunch and my goodness what a feast! Grandpa cannot speak English but seems to have taken a shine to me and I to him. He has a warming smile and a face of many years of life, work and family. I compliment him on his beautiful house which Hai translates and I see a shine in his eyes. 

We are called to dinner and sit around a table under the veranda full of wonderful traditional Vietnamese food and it starts to rain a steady shower that continues until the end of the meal. First we have fresh spring rolls with cucumber and all sorts of green leaf foliage (that looks like what we call weeds in Australia) and the most delicious pork rolled in rice paper. After Thay makes me one I attempt one myself and earn a quiet respect from the rest of the table for my efforts. The rice wine is poured out for the men and Grandpa raises his glass to me after every other mouthful of food and I try to sip as little as I can until he notices and insists that I down the lot then refills my cup. Second course is rice noodles and a soup made of fish and more greens. It tastes great and I eat two bowls full and ask to be excused for a cigarette. After lunch I am invited to enjoy a hammock and doze for an hour or so, life is a little different out here in the country.

After my nap I chat with Thay and learn a few interesting things about what westerners would call corruption but what is considered normal here like the police bribery I witnessed yesterday which by the way is called “coffee money”. One thing I found out that surprised me is that Loi, my favourite one legged beggar who I have mentioned before was befriended by an Australian policeman who comes to Vietnam two or three times a year and he asked Loi what his dream would be to which he replied “to have two legs”. The policeman returned a few months later and told Loi he had arranged for him to receive a new leg. In a scene straight out of Monty Python’s “Life of Brian” Loi freaked out and said he would rather die than get a new leg. Seems he is too accustomed with his life of begging and daunted at the prospect of a new leg and having to find another source of income.

EX-LEPER: All right, sir. My final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper.
BRIAN: Did you say... 'ex-leper'?
EX-LEPER: That's right, sir. Sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, sir.
BRIAN: Well, what happened?
EX-LEPER: I was cured, sir.
BRIAN: Cured?
EX-LEPER: Yes, sir, a bloody miracle, sir. God bless you.
BRIAN: Who cured you?
EX-LEPER: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business. All of a sudden, up he comes. Cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. 'You're cured mate.' Bloody do-gooder.

Towards mid afternoon we say our goodbyes and start the journey back to Saigon, well rested and fed. We stop a short way along at Hai’s brother’s house where I think we visit purely to parade the white boy. There is a table of men drinking lazy Sunday afternoon Heinekens and I am greeted loudly by the Alpha male of the group who immediately pours me a short glass of beer and insists I scull it down, here we go again! The glass is refilled straight away and Thay says I should drink it down so we can get back on the road. I stand and raise my glass to the table and chant “Mo, Hi, Ma, YO!!!” the traditional Vietnamese “cheers” and am joined by the table who cheer me away to the car.

                       Thay's niece thinks i should wear this police hat that is floating around the car.

The next hour is a sleepy drive back to District one for everyone (except the driver of course who did not drink at all) and when we arrive I cannot thank Thay enough for the day. I say farewell to Coney and head up to my room for a snooze.

Out to Anne’s for dinner, I have not tried her pizza yet, I bump into all the usual suspects. I chat to Lan for a while, I need a comb to trim my sideburns so she gets me one. Foo comes by with my cigarettes, I assure a couple of potential customers how good the food is and they should come in to Anne’s delight. The quirky looking waitress with the stutter asks me if I would like to teach some students privately on the weekends, I tell her I will let her know, it could be some good experience for some extra cash. The pizza is great as well as the beer and I walk home, happy, contented and refreshed.

Work, Massage, Drink, Eat.

Bad nights sleep, I think I fell asleep with my neck on a bad angle and had a headache for most of the night so of course just as I finally get into a deep sleep – the alarm goes off. Breakfast and Wah takes me to school. Chan greets me full of apologies for wasting my time with the wrong class material Thursday – I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle this so as long as he gave me the right material for today I accept and move on.

I have had this class before and they are a good bunch of kids, the boys chatter a lot which is distracting but I handle them well. With my head still a bit sore I am cheery through the class but offer a stern stare when one of them is chattering and say “one warning today” to let them know I am not kidding, so when one starts chattering for the second time in a firm raised voice I say “Peter, over there” pointing to a chair on the other side of the room, within twenty minutes I have moved two of them and now they are too far apart to chatter. I’ve got to say I am fairly proud of myself and I think I am pretty good at this job.

This generation is the first in the country’s history that is middle class, they go to normal school but then their parents pay for them to come here to learn English. Tom has told me that he has two classes that just give him the finger and say “my father can get you fired” which probably explains why he has elevensees before work. He has only been reprimanded once for hitting a student. So my kids are pussy cats compared to that.

I have a cigarette and a chat with Brandon in break time and he is more forthcoming with information. Basically as he sees it (and I am starting to pick up) the main focus of the school is money, not unexpected seeing we are in Vietnam but that will in time make it hard to keep up this energy and passion I have for teaching the kids, I really want to make a difference. He says the parents pay about a hundred and fifty dollars a month for their kids to attend which is quite an amount of money, especially when you consider the lack of professionalism and lax attitude towards the curriculum. Brandon also offered up the names of a couple of other places I could get work closer to where I am living, he is in a good mood today, he even smiled slightly at one point.

We are learning words like “journalist” “author” “novel” “publisher” “editor” today and spend time talking about J.K. Rowling and Harry Potter and what books the kids like. I am surprised to find that when I tell them my favourite book when I was their age was “Twenty Thousand Leagues under the Sea” that two of them have actually read it, man I loved that book, I still have two or three copies in a box somewhere.

Schools out and I get my timetable for this week, another sparse week and I am feeling good. After Wah drops me back to the Blue River, Thay says she will let me know what time we are going on a trip out of town tomorrow and I am looking forward to escaping for a day. I change and head out for lunch at Lam Café but I see Glen in his usual spot and stop for a beer with him first. He is still only doing interviews and doesn’t have a job yet. I ask him about his flies/rain comment the other day and he explains the sticky little flies only come out a few hours before it is going to rain. On the way home from school there was a couple of drops and the cool wind I have noticed that comes before the rain also, yes it will rain later today. I buy Glen a beer and head over to Lam in time to see Tom heading off to teach. The satay at Lams is brilliant.

After eating I head off for a massage to straighten my neck out, two days in a row is a bit indulgent but hey, it’s fourteen dollars! Along the way I see a familiar face and a name pops into my head, he sees me looking at him so I ask “Rainier?” he looks surprised and cautiously answers “yes” I laugh and tell him he has a tarantula tattoo on his shoulder and I met him two years ago and he was the one who recommended “Saigon Ink” where I got my star tattoo. We have a stunned laugh and he is surprised I remembered him, as am I. “I’ll see you on the block then” and I leave him to eat in peace.

At the massage place I tell the girl out front that the massage yesterday was no good and she is apologetic. Luckily one of the good masseuses is free and she does a great job. On my way out I notice the girl who gave me a massage a couple of weeks ago when I was being cautious with my money, waiting for my new bank cards. I only tipped her half the expected amount at the time so today I gave her the other half and said “I told you my wallet was stolen and I promised you I would give you the rest when I had more money” there are a few of the girls standing around by now and I think I earnt a fair amount of respect. The girl who takes the money gives me a slight discount for yesterdays debacle and I think they realise I go there two or three times a week so they should look after me.

All is right in the world and I float off with my painless back and neck and go for a lay down, I am bushed after no sleep last night and class today. I saw Doyen along the way and she is much happier today, her friends from Alley Booz took her out to karaoke last night for a few drinks because she has moved from there to the GO2. When I got back to my room there was a beautiful thank you note from Mun and Min, I gave them five dolars earlier for the extra effort of keeping the cigarette smell to a minimum in my room. Mun refused the money but I insisted, now there is an oil burner in my room.

The Spotted Cow

As dusk sets in I head out for a walk around the block. I stop to say hello to Hung, another friend at the GO2 but I’m not going there twice in one day. Just up ahead I see Lan, we walk and talk for a while and I joke that I will help her sell her cheap basket junk, she doesn’t believe me so I do for a couple of bars, I could not take the constant rejection these girls endure. I separate from her at The Spotted Cow and have a beer amongst a passion ridden crowd of Aussies cheering the rugby finals on TV.

The view at the front of Dung Cafe'

I move onto Dung Café and I am so close to the end of “Zen – Motorcycle Maintenance” but I will not finish tonight. Lan turns up again and we talk some more. Again tonight someone wants to sit outside at MY table but tonight the boys separate the tables a bit so I have a small exclusion zone but I cannot read anymore tonight so I say hello to the fellow. He’s a Jewish guy who seems decent enough but it soon becomes obvious he has a silent air of superiority and in the middle of our conversation he cuts me off rudely to greet a couple of Jewish girls who turn up and they proceed to ramble on loudly in Hebrew, so I order the pork!

                                                                   Lan......again.

After enough beer and cigarettes I head back to my room, on the way in Hai informs me that Thay and I are leaving at 7am in the morning so straight to bed. The rain never came.

Bagels and Bribery

I notice AUD is back below parity with USD today, oh well, it was good while it lasted. It rained all night and is a bit damp now but clearing, a gentle breeze makes it about perfect. I didn’t get to read at all yesterday so after breakfast I go to Anne’s and get to part 4 of my book – oh yeah, I’m on the home straight and it’s all coming together now – and starting to freak me out a little……

Some of you have commented on the length and depth of this blog. (Thank you for the compliments and encouragement) I am using it to discipline myself to write daily, something I have always had trouble with and I will eventually turn this gusto towards my own personal writing, which has always been a part of my intention on this journey. It is also good to remember names and places and to keep track of details, those that know me well enough know that I love to catalogue everything. Then there is my core group of daily readers that are vicariously enjoying the adventures I am having and I lovingly appreciate you.

After Anne’s I am on the hunt. I go from café to café asking but no-one seems to have bagels! Then I remember there is a “Coffee Bean” on the north east corner of the block and behold – I have found the place for my daily mid morning warm bagel with cream cheese! It also has a third floor view across a main intersection where Vietnam’s industrious buzz can be viewed in air-conditioned comfort with smooth French café jazz – sickening music but somehow perfect for the thousands of bikes buzzing around below. Also across the intersection is a “Lotteria” – my junk food corner.

The sting.

Note the artistic, harmonious blending of the traffic and the wiring.

Amongst this mornings viewing I get to spy a regular tradition in Vietnamese law enforcement. A police bike pulls up at the intersection and within minutes the officer has pulled over a taxi. They go through the formalities of paperwork checking and detail taking followed by the inevitable passing of money which brings smiles to both parties, one of greed the other of relief. I can even see the amount the driver put in his pocket as he returned from his vehicle with his papers which he then passed to the officer upon return of his licence, one hundred and fifty thousand Dong – about eight dollars – and the taxi is on his way.

The pay off.

After my bagel fix I decide on a massage, my back is not too bad today but my mind is a little tense approaching the end of the book. This girl is fairly new and the massage is below standard for this place but I take it in my stride and tell her as gently as I can at the end she needs to relax and focus a bit more. She does not pay much attention to the words until I only tip her half of the standard tip and reiterate my advice, this time she understands.

Lan.

Lan and Hi look so similar when they wear these hats but Hi has the husky voice while to the trained eye Lan has the slightly more curvy butt.

Up to the GO2 for a midday Beatles soundtrack to a beer and another chapter. At one point the “psychic” woman from yesterday asks to read my fortune again and I remind her we spoke yesterday, she remembers and sits with me for a while before finding someone to con out of a dollar for use of her mystical powers. Doyen is looking sad behind the cash register at the bar so I ask what’s wrong. Seems she has been transferred here for now (she is normally at Alley Booz – they are sister bars dominating the two main tourist corners) because the manageress found money has been going missing the last few days and the regular staff have been sent home and Doyen entrusted with the daily takings. Nice to be trusted but she is stressed because the responsibility is all on her now. I try to cheer her up for a while with varying results – have something to eat and a couple more drinks then head back to my room for a lay down and a look-over tomorrows class material. Chan better have TXT me the correct pages to look at this time but, after faking my way through the two classes last night I can’t say I really care that much – it’s the Vietnamese way.

The mystic who couldn't even predict rain in HCMC.

Dung café for dinner and some vodka. I am joined reluctantly at MY outside front table by a German guy, I can’t remember his name, it starts with B. He is leaving tomorrow after nineteen days and wants to tell me his stories of whores and well, more whores - he wasn't here for the scenery. Great dinner conversation over my steak with mushrooms in cream sauce. At ten to nine Chan TXT me that he would like me to come in at eight tomorrow morning and assist him with a starter class he has just decided to open, my class is scheduled for nine thirty, well Chan, you are not even going to get a response from me, I am learning the Vietnamese way.

Children of the Revolution

A wonderful morning. After breakfast Wah takes me to the Post Office to complete step three of getting my new licence, posting off the photos and Embassy forms to the RTA. A beautiful building opened over a hundred years ago with a giant portrait of Uncle Ho (Ho Chi Minh) overseeing the whole floor.

Outside across the road is the famous Notre Dame Cathedral. Despite their misguided teachings and dogmas, the Catholics, like all religions know how to build an impressive building. I have seen it before but today is the first time it is open and I get to see the inside.

Across the square from the Post Office and the Cathedral I stop at The Coffee Bean, a Starbucks style chain restaurant, unfortunately I ordered the wrong coffee, iced but without milk but that does not matter because I have discovered a new love that I have never bothered to try before, a fresh warm bagel, YUM! The cool wind is whipping up and a few drops of rain appear.

Walking in the direction of my hotel I visit the HCMC Museum. I have been to more impressive Museums but there are a few interesting facts, figures and displays. There is a traditional band from the central highlands performing for about a hundred school children in the foyer which is enchanting.

A light shower begins and I walk again towards my hotel, sheltering under the shop awnings as I go, it gets heavier as I come across a Hindu Temple so I go inside for some shelter. It is mostly abandoned except for an old woman who is lighting incense. I purchase some and enter the main prayer room which is empty. I light the incense putting it in the shrine receptors and get on my knees for a thank you to Buddha who is amongst the Hindu gods on the central shrine “Thank you O beautiful one” I feel him smile and hear the rain stop. I remain there for a while meditating with the beautiful mantra that is playing on a sound system, after a few minutes I realise it is the same riff as “Children of the Revolution” and leave humming T-rex.

The walking feels good today, the rain has cleared, the humidity has risen and a healthy sweat is coming out of me. Interesting little side fact, the last two days where I have not been sweating I needed to go to the bathroom a couple of times while I was drinking but when the humidity brings out the sweat I do not. I stop at Jin’s café for lunch and buy a day old Daily Telegraph to have a look at some more local Sydney news than what the ABC provides from the old lady who sells them. Her and the gentleman who sell them have stopped asking me if I want to buy one and while reading through an article I feel a stare and look up to see HIM giving me a dirty look. I promise to buy one from him next week. I managed to find out my suspicions are correct, they get them from the airport.

I give some money to an old beggar lady who holds out her hand under my face while I am chatting to Lan and then an old man who suddenly appears when he sees me give her some money. I give away probably about a dollar all up every day or two but only to the very old people like these or the disabled/maimed beggars.

                        Loi - the one legged Benicio Del Toro look alike (not so much in this photo)

While having lunch I am also approached by an old lady who wants to tell me my future. I tell her I do not want or need to know but I give her a measly few thousand Dong to sit down and chat with me. She definitely has that “old mystic” looking face and tells me some of the great work she has done for Australian travellers over time, apparently she can “bring luck” to people by letting them know their futures. In a subtle around about way I get her talking and she certainly is a very good psychic. She “knows” I am a traveller having a holiday and I am about 51 years old – wrong and wrong - busted you old charlatan! I also asked if it will rain again this afternoon - a fairly safe bet for anyone and she says yes - it does not. (This whole last paragraph was spoken in an entirely sarcastic tone – I just wanted to have some fun with her)

Hein - morning reception at Blue River

                                               Hai - afternoon reception at Blue River

Back to the Blue River for a nap and some study for school this afternoon, I have walked for about 5 hours this morning. Four o’clock my stomach starts to feel a bit sore not sure if I’m hungry or getting sick so I stuff down a quick burger at Dung before I leave for school.

About halfway the road is jammed, we can’t see what has happened but it is a wall of bikes so we have to back track a bit and cut through some different areas, ever the professional Wah still gets me there on time.

I am a half an hour early as requested so that Mr Chan can show me the lesson plan for the first class, he is not there. Reception hands me a pile of photocopies for a test I am to give and that is it! Hey I’m the new guy here, a little bit of direction would be nice? Then I remember where I am. So I stumble my way through that with the wrong correlating CD for the test and pad the rest of the class out with charades “my job is?” Only I didn’t realise I picked the smartest kid to start who selected Movie Director and the rest of the class don’t even know what that is………it was a long game. Not to worry I have spent some time preparing for the next class and five minutes into it I work out Chan has also given me the wrong book for this class as well. Somehow with a combination of my charm and wit and good students we manage to make it through that class unscathed.

The ride home is magnificent, the traffic is light, the air is cool and clear (well clearer) and the neon is dazzling. Up to Dung Café for a light supper and much needed beer then bed, a good full day.